We all know the feeling. You’ve had a long week and worked very hard, and now it’s Friday night and there's nothing you need to do. But your bones are so weary, your shoulders so stiff, that only a nice glass of wine can pick you up. After all, you deserve to have a little fun, right? So off you go to the local pub.

Now there’s nothing wrong with having fun and enjoying the good life — but sometimes we indulge ourselves purely out of habit, without examining the automatic and unconscious nature of our actions.

The fact is, we often indulge our habits of consumption out of a feeling of inner deficiency. We feel like something is lacking in us, that there’s something missing. We feel like we need to fill ourselves, to have something that will get us through the next phase of the day. This may be as simple a thing as going for a drink at a bar on a Friday night, or going online for a couple of hours at night before bed, or eating certain kinds of food when we’re feeling a certain way.

The next time that urge hits you, though, see what would happen if you don’t indulge it. And if you don’t partake of the glass of wine or the online activity or the e-mail or the special food, see what arises in its place. It may very likely be a feeling of uneasiness, weariness, boredom, anxiety, confusion, loneliness…

But isn’t it possible just to be with these states, acknowledging them without any self-judgment, and watching them pass through our awareness without reacting to them? Perhaps these states of dis-ease and imbalance have something to teach us — something we would miss if we simply indulged our habits and distracted ourselves from experiencing them.

Often when we allow these states to be known in our awareness, we connect to deep sources of our own suffering. But suffering can’t be changed until it is known and until we honestly acknowledge it. Only when we accept the truth of our own suffering can freedom from suffering become possible. One of the things that can happen when we willfully short circuit our habits like this is that we realize we have choice about how to act — and with the awareness of that choice comes a new sense of freedom, a sense of openness, of the possibility of change. We align ourselves to a deep sense of our own virtue, of inner poise and contentment.

Another thing that can happen when we refuse to indulge our habits: we can actually weaken the craving for what we had so habitually desired. And when we weaken our craving in one area of life, other sources of craving can also be weakened. Thus, to lose our enchantment with one type of object of desire, even a small one, can help us find balance in the rest of our lives.

So give it a try. Take one habit of consumption and try not doing it for a week and then see what happens. You may learn something important about yourself. Remember, mindfulness is an ongoing adventure!

Bill Scheinman

info@stressreductionatwork.com
(415) 820-1533